Lo solucioné creando una tabla "temporal" permanente y agregando el sufijo SPID (lo siento, soy de SQL Server land) al nombre de la tabla, para hacer un nombre de tabla único. Luego, creando sentencias SQL dinámicas para crear las consultas. Si sucede algo malo, la tabla se eliminará y se volverá a crear.
Espero una mejor opción. Vamos, desarrolladores de MySQL. ¡El 'error' / 'solicitud de función' ha estado abierto desde 2008! Parece que todos los "errores" que he encontrado están en el mismo barco.
select concat('ReviewLatency', CONNECTION_ID()) into @tablename;
set @dsql=concat('drop table if exists ', @tablename, ';');
PREPARE QUERY1 FROM @dsql;
EXECUTE QUERY1;
DEALLOCATE PREPARE QUERY1;
set @dsql=concat('
create table ', @tablename, ' (
`EventUID` int(11) not null,
`EventTimestamp` datetime not null,
`HasAudit` bit not null,
`GroupName` varchar(255) not null,
`UserID` int(11) not null,
`EventAuditUID` int(11) null,
`ReviewerName` varchar(255) null,
index `tmp_', @tablename, '_EventUID` (`EventUID` asc),
index `tmp_', @tablename, '_EventAuditUID` (`EventAuditUID` asc),
index `tmp_', @tablename, '_EventUID_EventTimestamp` (`EventUID`, `EventTimestamp`)
) ENGINE=MEMORY;');
PREPARE QUERY2 FROM @dsql;
EXECUTE QUERY2;
DEALLOCATE PREPARE QUERY2;
set @dsql=concat('
insert into ', @tablename, '
select e.EventUID, e.EventTimestamp, e.HasAudit, gn.GroupName, epi.UserID, eai.EventUID as `EventAuditUID`
, concat(concat(concat(max(concat('' '', ui.UserPropertyValue)), '' (''), ut.UserName), '')'') as `ReviewerName`
from EventCore e
inner join EventParticipantInformation epi on e.EventUID = epi.EventUID and epi.TypeClass=''FROM''
inner join UserGroupRelation ugr on epi.UserID = ugr.UserID and e.EventTimestamp between ugr.EffectiveStartDate and ugr.EffectiveEndDate
inner join GroupNames gn on ugr.GroupID = gn.GroupID
left outer join EventAuditInformation eai on e.EventUID = eai.EventUID
left outer join UserTable ut on eai.UserID = ut.UserID
left outer join UserInformation ui on eai.UserID = ui.UserID and ui.UserProperty=-10
where e.EventTimestamp between @StartDate and @EndDate
and e.SenderSID = @FirmID
group by e.EventUID;');
PREPARE QUERY3 FROM @dsql;
EXECUTE QUERY3;
DEALLOCATE PREPARE QUERY3;
set @dsql=concat('
select rl1.GroupName as `Group`, coalesce(max(rl1.ReviewerName), '''') as `Reviewer(s)`, count(distinct rl1.EventUID) as `Total Events`
, (count(distinct rl1.EventUID) - count(distinct rl1.EventAuditUID)) as `Unreviewed Events`
, round(((count(distinct rl1.EventUID) - count(distinct rl1.EventAuditUID)) / count(distinct rl1.EventUID)) * 100, 1) as `% Unreviewed`
, date_format(min(rl2.EventTimestamp), ''%W, %b %c %Y %r'') as `Oldest Unreviewed`
, count(distinct rl3.EventUID) as `<=7 Days Unreviewed`
, count(distinct rl4.EventUID) as `8-14 Days Unreviewed`
, count(distinct rl5.EventUID) as `>14 Days Unreviewed`
from ', @tablename, ' rl1
left outer join ', @tablename, ' rl2 on rl1.EventUID = rl2.EventUID and rl2.EventAuditUID is null
left outer join ', @tablename, ' rl3 on rl1.EventUID = rl3.EventUID and rl3.EventAuditUID is null and rl1.EventTimestamp > DATE_SUB(NOW(), INTERVAL 7 DAY)
left outer join ', @tablename, ' rl4 on rl1.EventUID = rl4.EventUID and rl4.EventAuditUID is null and rl1.EventTimestamp between DATE_SUB(NOW(), INTERVAL 7 DAY) and DATE_SUB(NOW(), INTERVAL 14 DAY)
left outer join ', @tablename, ' rl5 on rl1.EventUID = rl5.EventUID and rl5.EventAuditUID is null and rl1.EventTimestamp < DATE_SUB(NOW(), INTERVAL 14 DAY)
group by rl1.GroupName
order by ((count(distinct rl1.EventUID) - count(distinct rl1.EventAuditUID)) / count(distinct rl1.EventUID)) * 100 desc
;');
PREPARE QUERY4 FROM @dsql;
EXECUTE QUERY4;
DEALLOCATE PREPARE QUERY4;
set @dsql = concat('drop table if exists ', @tablename, ';');
PREPARE QUERY5 FROM @dsql;
EXECUTE QUERY5;
DEALLOCATE PREPARE QUERY5;